MEN NEED MEN – the value of intergenerational relationships

Something special happens when different men join together. A diverse men’s group is like a village gathering, joining young men and elders. Each man contributes with his own life experience, his vision and ambition and his energy.

As a young man I was struck by this richness of life experience when I joined a new men’s group about six months ago. Coming together with a bunch of men who were all older than me – some of them LOTS older – triggered a feeling of inferiority in me. Every man in the meeting had more experience than me in business, relationships, sex and in working with their purpose. How was my contribution going to measure up to theirs?

Throughout these past months it has become more and more clear to me why I too am essential to my group. I am learning that my passion, my life attitude and energy inspires action in my brothers, just like an older man’s wisdom inspires me to take a breath, reflect and get out of my drama.

Inspired by my experiences, I have put together a video with contributions from the men from my group. Working with this project I have learned more about the way that the purpose of a man shifts as he ages and matures – and that this shift also alters the type of support he needs.

As young men with high energy we are geared to fight, to try things and to make mistakes. At this stage we need mentors. We need middle-aged men who can act as mature and masculine role models for us, and when we crash and burn we need elders to provide us with some perspective.

As we get older our purpose will often be less connected to active doing and more to a position of wisdom. But wisdom can wither if not shared. As I have learned through talking to older men, they need young men as well. Not only as receivers of their wisdom, but also to revitalise their own life and practice.

Thanks for reading.

//Eskil Avelon Steffensen, group brother in Maniphesto Core