Discover your ONE thing!
Establishing Basic Trust
Maniphesto Core Teams are built on the principle that every man is committed to making the most basic contribution to his team – sorting out his own shit.
If one man refuses to address whatever is holding him back, choosing victimhood and wallowing in his troubles, it sucks the lifeblood out of the team. Yet if a man makes the necessary changes and successfully navigates towards a better life for himself, it lifts and inspires the whole team to do the same.
Trust is vital in any team. Your future Core Team members need to be able to trust you to make the changes needed to take control of your own life, therefore being more able to help uplift, challenge and support them in theirs.
We understand making such changes is scary and difficult. A small part of you must die and burn away. Though this can be daunting, whatever arises from those ashes will move your life in a positive direction.
We all want better lives. Few are prepared to make the decisions and take the actual steps that are required. In Core, we only have space for those brave few – ready to feel the fear, put their trust in other men and take action.
The fact you’re here shows that you know that the alternative is far worse.
Thank you for trusting us by making the commitment to be here.
It’s time to take your next step!
Your ONE Thing
Taking control of the foundation of your life starts with a simple question:
“What’s the ONE Thing that I could do, that if I did it, would make my life better?”
Unless you are a saint, everybody can find their one thing pretty easily. It could be as simple as eating more healthily. Or perhaps you have been thinking of finding a new job for ages, your current job is weighing you down more and more, but you can’t really get the energy to take the step to actually start looking. Perhaps you need to start doing some sport. Or maybe you know that you should have a regular meditation practice to deal with increasing stress in your life, but haven’t found the time to start.
Your ONE Thing should be formulated as a short statement of an action in the present tense. Here are a few examples:
- I get a new job
- I start a meditation program
- I read Jordan Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life.
We encourage positive goals. For instance, stopping a negative habit such as watching porn, eating unhealthy food, procrastinating or disconnecting from others are obviously helpful things to drop. Yet DOING something positive works better than focusing on negative behaviour.
So take a moment to think. What is your ONE Thing? Your biggest, most impactful, or difficult thing may be too much to begin with – it just has to be something that you COULD do, that you know would make your life better.
Ever tried to change too much too fast, then give up when you fail? We’ve all been there. In contrast, focusing on small successes builds your confidence, providing the foundation to tackle larger challenges later.
Much of the work we do in Maniphesto Core is aimed at the level of habits.
In the words of Lao Tzu:
“Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.”
A good habit is a particular action that you can do automatically, without thinking about it, every day – which will make your life better. Implementing a good habit will change your thoughts, words and actions. It will form your character and eventually, if Tzu is to be believed, your destiny.
Your subconscious knows that changing a habit changes your destiny. So this is no small feat we are attempting here.
To maximise the effectiveness of your ONE Thing to create positive change in your life, you should aim it at the level of a DAILY habit. Do this by expanding the question above:
“What’s the ONE Thing that I could do every day, that if I did it, would make my life better?”
Addressing the above examples at habit level could look like this:
- I set up a profile on a job site and spend at least 10 minutes 5 times a week searching for and applying for jobs
- I spend 15 minutes in meditation every morning as the very first thing I do after I wake up
- I read 10 pages of Jordan Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life every day
In your Core Team, you will work on creating and implementing your newly defined habits in your life. Make sure your ONE Thing is formulated at the habit level. It does not have to be 7 days a week, but you should take something that should be done at least 5 days a week to integrate it firmly into your life.
Confronting the Dragon of Chaos
Write down your ONE thing on paper; whether it’s a single thing you need to do or a habit you need to implement. Notice how writing it down has an aspect of focusing your attention on the problem. From your being, through your body, via your pen, this is action; taking something from the chaos of potentiality, and trying to bring it to order.
Look at what you’ve written. As your words look back at you, we understand that it can feel uncomfortable. Even scary. And it should. If you are not feeling at least some discomfort, there is a good chance you are not really confronting chaos in your life. Try the exercise again; you’ll know when your words feel like you’re facing a dragon that must be slain.
Confronting the Dragon of Chaos is not easily done. Despite the fairytales of the lone hero riding out to face the dragon, we believe in the power of community. Yes, only you can slay the beast and make the changes needed in your life. No one else can achieve your ONE Thing. Yet working towards it with a trusted team of other men who are doing the same thing as you will greatly increase your chances of success.
Time to meet your Team
So now you have your ONE Thing. The next step is to bring it with you to a Core team. They are going to support you in making it happen. Remember: This step is a REQUIREMENT for visiting a team.
Congratulations. This was a big step. Small course corrections in a supportive community lead to massive improvements over time.
Take your ONE THING with you, written down, and then find the first Core Team you want to visit.
You don’t need to have mastered this thing!
You don’t even need to have started practicing it!
You DO have to have identified your ONE THING you COULD do.
With this single intention as a starting point, with the support of a Core Team, you can create a sense of purpose through formulating vision, creating goals and setting up daily practices that will help you reach them – to be in integrity with the man you want to be.
Now let’s start slaying some dragons!